


Operation: Infatuation

by garbage_dono



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Awkward Crush, F/M, First Kiss, Fluff, Pining, Unrequited Allurance, oblivious lance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-25
Updated: 2018-12-02
Packaged: 2019-08-29 10:51:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 11,694
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16742593
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/garbage_dono/pseuds/garbage_dono
Summary: Lance has a feeling. An intuition. One that he can't ignore.Something is wrong with Pidge.Now he just has to figure out what.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Figured it was finally time to contribute to this adorable little garden ship. <3

Lance let himself into Pidge’s room and collapsed onto her beanbag chair with a heavy sigh. He let his head tilt back to stare at the ceiling, listening to the rapid click-clacking of her fingers on her laptop keyboard. They didn’t even slow – if he didn’t know better he’d say Pidge hadn’t noticed him come in at all.

But he did know better. She was _ignoring_ him.

He sighed again, more loudly this time.

“What.” Her key-tapping paused, but she didn’t look up.

Lance pouted. “Are you mad at me?”

Finally, she turned to look at him. “Huh? No. I mean, I’d like it if you learned how to _knock._ ”

“I did!” He tried to sit up, but the damn beanbag didn’t make it easy. No wonder Shiro always got after her about how bad for her back this thing was. “I figured you had your headphones in or something.”

She raised one eyebrow his way before going back to her typing again.

“Okay, okay! I’m sorry I came in without knocking _properly._ Do you want me to leave and try again?”

“You’re already here,” she said with a shrug. “Might as well tell me why you keep sighing like a puppy who’s not getting enough attention.”

“You say that like it’s a bad thing – everyone loves puppies.” He grinned at her, and she just barley managed to cover up a smile of her own. “It’s just…it’s all this wedding stuff, you know? It feels…weird. That’s all.”

That barely-there smile faded pretty quickly at that. She kept her eyes locked on her laptop screen. Like she was determined to keep them from wandering anywhere else. “Weird?”

“Yeah. Weird. I dunno, it’s just…it feels weird…watching Allura get married.”

Pidge’s face was unreadable. Between the glare off her glasses and the wild mop of hair hanging in front of her eyes Lance could barely see much of it anyway. Finally, she said, “What, were you thinking she’d be marrying you instead?”

Lance choked. “N-no! Of course not! It’s not like I could ever compete with a tall, handsome, intelligent space prince like that!” He let his body melt back into the beanbag. Maybe if he tried hard enough he could become one with it. “Not…not that I’d _want_ to. She’s happy with him. And I’m happy for her. That’s what I’m supposed to do right? Just…be happy for her?”

Pidge started typing again. “Yeah. I guess.”

“Is that…are you sure that’s not weird?”

“What, being happy for the princess?”

“Going to her wedding. Their wedding. After I told her – I mean I _told_ her and she didn’t…shit, it’s all just awkward and weird and I don’t even know if I _should_ go-“

When he looked up again, Pidge’s eyes were as wide as a pair of teladuv lenses. “You _told_ her? As in _confessed_ to her? As in confessed all your… _feelings?_ ”

Lance was halfway glad he’d sunk as far into the beanbag as he had – maybe it would keep his blush from showing. “Well…well yeah. A while back. Before she got engaged. I didn’t wanna make a big thing of it. You know, since it didn’t quite…pan out…”

“What did she _say?_ ”

“What do you _think_ she said? She didn’t feel the same way. Can’t really blame her. She’s a _space princess_ and I’m just a kid from a random little blue marble.” Pidge didn’t say a word in reply, and somehow that was worse than her cracking a joke or poking fun at how much of a hopeless romantic he was sometimes. He forced a weak little smile. “C’mon, Pidge…this is where you say _No, Lance. You’re a great guy and anybody would be lucky to have you._ Or you know, just call me an idiot or something. Whatever works for you.”

Pidge’s fingers hovered above the keyboard, her thumb dropping down to absently press the space bar a few times. Lance couldn’t see just what she was working on, but he doubted that had anything to do with it. It was just a tick. A placeholder until she managed to say, softly, “You’re not an idiot, Lance.”

“Really?” He craned his neck to look up at her, the effort making it impossible to hold that smile on his face. “Cause I kind of feel like a big one…”

Slowly, Pidge shut her laptop.

“No…you’re not an idiot. And…yeah, anyone _would_ be lucky to have you. You know, if you didn’t drive them batshit insane first.”

 _That_ made him smile again. “Language, dude.”

“C’mon, you’ve heard how Keith swears when he thinks he’s mic is off in the lions.” She giggled. “I’ll never match up to him.” She tucked her legs underneath her, perching like a weird little bird on her desk chair and pushing the hair out of her face. There was a hint of pink in her cheeks, or at least he thought there was, but without the light from her laptop she was cast in shadow and Lance couldn’t be quite sure.

He absently drew patterns with his finger against the fabric of the beanbag, pressing down and leaving a tiny indentation where it swelled up around his hips. “You wanna know something _really_ dumb?” he finally said.

“From you? Always.”

He snorted, staring down at his hand as the indentation from his finger slowly filled in. “I know it’s kinda ridiculous…but for just a second, when I told her how I felt, I really thought I had a chance.”

Pidge seemed to pull her legs in closer. “Mmhm?” Her voice seemed to waver.

 “I mean…sure, Lotor was back, and they had all this _history,_ but we’d just beaten Haggar and fixed the universe and…I dunno, maybe I was high on it or something. But I thought maybe…maybe she would see me a little differently.” He pressed his palm against the beanbag this time, feeling it give way and morph around his fingers. It was something to concentrate on that wasn’t the ache in his chest. “But she didn’t…and she’s with Lotor now, and they’re gonna go off and transform the universe and have lots of beautiful purple babies, and I’m really, _really_ trying to be happy for them, but I just…it sucks.”

He couldn’t stand how his voice broke.

“It sucks knowing there’s never gonna be a chance _._ Cause before I opened my big mouth and said anything, there was always…there was always a _chance._ Even if it was tiny and stupid. And now there’s not, and that just…sucks.” He glanced at her. “Ya know?”

Pidge was chewing on her lip, fidgeting with the edge of one sock over her ankle, not looking at him. “Yeah,” she said. Clipped, harsh. “Yeah, it does kinda suck.”

He squinted, sitting up as much as the beanbag would let him to get a better look at that weird, unreadable expression on Pidge’s face. “Uh…you okay?”

“Fine.”

“You sure?”

“Yeah.”

“Cause you don’t seem fine-“

“Well what do you want me to _say_ , Lance?” It practically exploded out of her with more force than he’d thought her body could even produce. It almost sent him tipping backwards right out of the beanbag. “You didn’t get the girl, and now you can sit here and have your little pity party while they plan their wedding. It sucks. I’m sorry. Whatever.”

She was on her feet a second later, voice wavering in a way that made his chest clench as she grabbed her laptop and headphones and headed straight for the door. “Where are you going?”

She didn’t answer him. Just left him there, in her room, staring at the door as it closed behind her.

“What…what the fuck?”

* * *

This called for an Emergency Meeting. Lance was sure of it. There was no time to waste. He folded his hands behind his back, gathering his thoughts and letting the silence drag on while Keith and Hunk stared at him from the couch.

“Um…what’s all this for-“

“Sssssh,” Lance insisted, holding a finger up toward Hunk to silence him. “I’m thinking.”

“You brought us here to watch you think?” Keith muttered.

Lance leveled a glare at him, but Keith didn’t even flinch. Not that he was expecting to. Anyone who was that comfortable with knives and fire wouldn’t just keel over from a nasty look. So Lance let it roll off him instead and took a deep breath as he pulled his shoulders back. “You’re all probably wondering why I gathered you here today-“

“That’s what I was just _asking-_ “

Lance held up a hand in Hunk’s face. Again. “No time for questions, Hunk. Or more importantly, we only have time for _one_ question, and that is – _what’s wrong with Pidge?_ ”

Keith rose a brow at him, looking obnoxiously unimpressed. “Something’s wrong with Pidge?” Lance swore he heard a note of worry buried somewhere in there.

“Wait, what’s wrong with her?” Hunk asked, and _his_ concern wasn’t so much buried as it was on display with a big bright neon sign. “Did she get hurt working on the lions again? She kept saying she wanted to outfit Green with a more advanced cloaking system, but the battery port kept shorting out and that’s a major electrocution risk-“

“What? No, she didn’t get electrocuted! At least not that I know of.” Though now that he thought about it, her hair did seem frizzier than usual last time he talked to her. But that could have been anything.

“Is she sick?” said Keith. “Did she eat that weird fruit you guys found back on Tezdar-“

Hunk groaned. “God, that fruit was so nasty.”

“No! No, she’s not sick and she’s not hurt!” Lance shoved them both over until he was able to shove himself between them on the couch. “C’mon, I can’t be the only person who’s noticed she’s been…off lately. And not _weird-alien-fruit_ off or _cloaking-system-electrocution_ off.”

Keith shoved him into Hunk’s arm, forcing both of them over one cushion. “Off how? Be specific.”

Lance let out a massive sigh and slumped against the back of the couch, staring up at the ceiling. “I was talking to her earlier. About…” God he hoped they couldn’t see the pink in his cheeks. “…stuff. And she just got…really snippy and yelled at me and stormed out of her own room.”

“Sure you weren’t just annoying her?” Keith said.

“We were having a perfectly pleasant conversation!”

“So she’s just in a bad mood – I’m sure Pidge is fine, Lance.” He leaned forward, looking past Lance and eying Hunk instead. “Right Hunk?”

But Hunk barely seemed to hear him, his finger curled under his chin and his brow pinched in thought. “I…I dunno…maybe Lance is onto something.”

“I knew it!” Lance was on his feet again, grinning victoriously.

“You can’t be serious.”

Hunk shrugged. “She’s been a little…distant when we’ve been working on getting all the lighting and stuff ready for the wedding. But I figured she was just, you know…adjusting to not living in constant fear of getting obliterated by robeasts?”

“Okay, well did she say anything?” Keith asked. “Did she tell you she was upset?”

“No, nothing like that. And she didn’t yell at me like she did to Lance.”

“That’s okay – I don’t feel like yelling at you nearly as much as I feel like yelling at Lance.”

“Hey, I’m _serious,_ ” Lance insisted, jabbing him in the ribs. “Something’s going on with her. I know it. I can feel it in my bones.”

“Well what do your _bones_ think is going on with her?”

So that was how it was going to go, hm? Lance turned on his heel, his back to the two of them as he let out a deep and contemplative sigh. “Well,” he murmured, keeping his volume low and his tone carefully measured. “I do have one theory. And it’s so crazy it just might be true.”

“Hypothesis.”

Lance peeked over his shoulder at Hunk. “What?”

“You have a hypothesis, not a theory. A theory is something that’s already been tested-“

“ _Fine,_ I have a _hypothesis_ that’s so crazy it might just be true. Now can I tell you what it is?”

“ _Please,_ ” Keith insisted.

“Okay.” With that settled, he turned again, planting his hands on his hips and drawing a deep breath to gather his thoughts. Center himself. “Hunk said Pidge was acting weird while working on wedding stuff, right?”

“Right,” Hunk said.

“And when Pidge and I were talking earlier, she got all snippy when the wedding came up.”

“You think the wedding is bothering her?” Keith asked. “I mean, she wasn’t exactly the president of Lotor’s fan club at the beginning, and she really looks up to Allura. Maybe she has…reservations about the whole thing?”

“If Pidge was still against this whole wedding thing, she would have said something,” Hunk mused.

“Hunk’s right.” Lance turned to face them again, rubbing his chin. “No, this is something closer to home. More personal. Weddings, romance, vows of undying love…I think it’s getting to her for a much more simple reason.”

Keith looked at him expectantly. “Which is…”

“Pidge-“ Lance raised his finger, emphasizing his point with a pregnant pause. “-has a crush.”

Silence followed. Stretching on and on. Forget pregnant, this one was carrying triplets.

“You…” Keith stared at him. “You think Pidge is acting weird…because she has a crush? On who?”

“That’s what I’m trying to figure out!” They didn’t look convinced. Dammit. “Come _on,_ guys. I have sisters – I know how girls act when they have a crush.”

“Right…” Keith heaved out a sigh. “So you have this weird feeling that Pidge has a crush on…someone. But you don’t know who. Awesome.”

But Hunk – heroic, wonderful hunk – came to his rescue a moment later, looking thoughtful as he said, “I dunno…maybe Lance has a point.”

“Are you _serious?_ ”

“Well, you guys remember Tezdar right? With all their gross melons and crazy dancing-“

“I still have all those flower crows they made us,” Lance said with a wistful little smile. He kind of missed Tezdar and all its music and dancing and beautiful inhabitants. Even if the food was enough to give him nightmares.

“They had that ceremony thing, remember?” Hunk looked downright lost in his own thoughts now, his brow furrowed in a way Lance had only seen when he was studying for his engineering entrance exams back at the Garrison. “Where they invited all the eligible women to dance at that altar. Something about praying to the gods to bring them a suitor. They tried to rope Pidge into it too-“

“Which she didn’t do,” Keith added. “And I don’t blame her.”

“Well yeah, me neither. But she said something about it, and I didn’t really think twice about it then, but if Lance is right-“

Lance had to resist the urge to throw himself across Hunk’s lap as his intrigue surged. “What did she _say?_ ”

“Something like…she didn’t want a suitor because she wasn’t interested in anyone else. I remember that part. Anyone _else._ ” Hunk shrugged, leaning against the back of the couch with a relenting little sigh. “And then they started bringing the food out, so I don’t remember a whole lot else. Just that awful fruit…” He shivered.

“Ah- _hah!_ ” Lance cheered. “I knew it! She _does_ have a thing for someone.”

“Who the hell would she have a thing for?” Keith asked, and if Lance didn’t know any better he would have sworn Keith interest seemed piqued.

“Wellll…” Lance’s gaze shifted easily over to Hunk again, a little smile tugging at his lips. “There’s the most obvious choice sitting right there.”

Hunk’s ears perked up. “What? Me? No! Nonono, she wouldn’t have a crush on me-“

“Why not? You guys are always joined at the hip, talking about nerdy stuff like polarities and quantum shifts.” He couldn’t help but smirk. “Face it, dude. You’re practically married already.”

Keith let out a snort as Hunk’s face turned a deep shade of scarlet. “W-we’re friends! And I mean sure I’m not the best at picking up hints, but I’m not oblivious, okay? If she had a thing for me, I would know! Or I’d at least have _some idea_.”

“Well, who else could it be? Shiro? _Allura?_ ” Lance’s stomach did an odd little flip, which he promptly ignored. But then his eyes happened to fall on Keith, who was sputtering – probably at the thought of Pidge having a crush on _Shiro_ of all people – and suddenly something clicked. “Wait…no…oh, I’ve got it! I’ve got it!”

He jabbed his finger against Keith’s chest, something that Keith didn’t seem to appreciate one bit, but he had to get his point across somehow. “ _You._ ”

“Me?”

Hunk stared. “Keith.”

“Tezdar,” Lance said with a grin. “The reconnaissance mission to investigate that seismic activity. Before all the dancing and flowers and awful fruit – Pidge was _supposed_ to come with me while you guys monitored from the ship. And _you-_ “ Keith whacked his hand away when he pressed his finger against his sternum again. “-you were staying put in that outpost on the planet’s surface. But what did she do, huh?”

Keith’s eyes rolled upward, his gaze staying locked on the ceiling instead of on Lance’s face as he replied, “She asked to stay at the outpost with me-“

“With _you!_ ”

“- _because_ she could figure out the Tezdar seismograph equipment better than I could alone.”

“Because she wanted to spend _time_ with you,” Lance insisted, beaming. “Because she has a _crush_ on you.”

“Lance, just because Pidge is a girl doesn’t mean that everything she does is motivated by a crush! Or anything else like that.”

“Please, that’s not what I said. It’s not _everything._ Just this one thing. C’mon, why wouldn’t she have a crush on you? You’ve got that whole bad boy charm going on.”

The tops of Keith’s ears turned pink. “ _What-_ “

“It does work for you,” Hunk offered with a shrug, and Keith shoved himself to his feet.

“I’m out of here. This is ridiculous.”

“Don’t run away from love, Keith!” Lance called, and Keith turned on his heel to say something that never got past his lips when the door opened behind him.

Shiro’s brow pinched in confusion. “Uh…what are you guys talking about?”

“ _Nothing,_ ” Keith insisted. “Nothing important.”

“Hey, whatever is going on with Pidge is plenty important!” Lance fired back. With more vigor than he’d meant to, and now Shiro and Keith were both staring at him. “I-I mean…there’s gotta be something we can do. She’s our friend.”

“Do about what?” Shiro asked hesitantly. “Guys, what’s going on with Pidge?”

Keith sighed. “Lance thinks she has a…a crush or something.”

“Oh.”

“On _Keith,_ ” Hunk added, and Shiro’s eyebrows shot up.

“ _Oh!_ Oh? Keith?”

“She does _not_ have a crush on me.” Keith said it with such force that Lance was halfway expecting him to stomp his foot to make his point. Even from here he could see his knuckles turning white as his cheeks went pink. “There’s no way – and even if she _did,_ it doesn’t matter!”

For some reason that stung, and Lance couldn’t quite place why. “Why shouldn’t it matter?” he asked, frowning as he did.

“Because I’m-“ Keith swallowed back whatever he was going to say there and replaced it with, “We have more important things to worry about. The Coalition, the Blade of Marmora, the _wedding._ ”

“If Pidge has a thing for you and it’s bothering her, I think you should care. We should all care! She’s our friend! And obviously this whole wedding thing is getting to her-“

“Do you really think so, or is it just getting to you?”

The silence after that hung in the air for a while. Long enough to get uncomfortable. Lance shifted his weight from one foot to the other, sitting down on the couch so Keith couldn’t see the flush creeping up over his cheeks and ears. Hot and shameful. Because there was a part of him that thought he might be _right._

“Lance…” Shiro sighed. “I know your heart is in the right place. But Keith has a point – Pidge is a smart person. If she wants to talk or reach out, she’ll do it in her own time.”

Lance stared down at his knees. Not feeling much like looking at anyone else. “Yeah, sue me for wanting to help.”

“Lance-“

“Is something wrong with Pidge?” Oh, that voice sent a shock down his spine, and before he could help it he was sitting up ramrod straight on the couch, his head whipping toward the door. The second he saw Allura peeking around Shiro his face went from warm to blazing, and it was even worse when they locked eyes.

He looked away before she did, focusing all his attention into clearing his throat and keeping his shoulders as loose as he could. “It’s nothing,” he forced out. “I just thought…but it’s…it’s nothing important.”

“Lance thinks Pidge is nursing a crush,” Shiro relented, making Lance grimace. But Allura’s gasp was loud and _genuine_ enough to pull his eyes back toward her.

Her hands were plastered over her mouth, pure horror spreading across her features. “Pidge got _crushed?_ By _what?_ ”

“No! Not crushed!” Hunk was quick to add. “She _has_ a crush. It’s an Earth saying. It means she has…feelings for someone. You know, warm fuzzy feelings?”

Allura let out an audible sigh of relief. “Don’t frighten me like that.” Shiro muttered an apology, barely managing to force down a laugh as he did. But Allura barely seemed to notice it – the worry on her face started to morph into something more stern and disapproving. “And just why are you all in here discussing her feelings behind her back?”

“We weren’t,” Keith said. “I mean…I guess we were, but we were just trying to – _Lance_ was just trying to-“

“I just wanted to make sure she’s okay,” he mumbled, just barely managing to meet Allura’s gaze when she looked at him again. He shrugged. “I figured something was bothering her, that’s all.”

Allura’s voice was a little softer, a little more sympathetic as she breathed, “Well that’s very…thoughtful of you, Lance.”

He scratched at the back of his neck.

“But if something really is bothering her-“ Allura rolled back her shoulders and straightened her back, like she was preparing for a speech. Or a fight. “-then someone ought to talk to her.”

Hunk winced. “Uh…maybe that’s not-“

“It would certainly be better than sitting around discussing her personal matters without her present.” Oh, she was using her princess tone, Lance noticed. The one that left little room for argument. “And no offense to all of you, but this seems to be the type of thing that requires a woman’s touch.”

She smiled sweetly, her mind made up, and Lance’s heart thumped against his ribs unpleasantly. Just what kind of can of worms had he opened? How was Pidge ever going to forgive him if she found out he was the one to bring this _up?_ “A-aren’t you busy with the wedding?” he blurted before he could stop himself, and all eyes turned toward him.

Allura’s face was unreadable, though her cheeks seemed to darken a bit as she folded her hands neatly in front of her. “Busy, yes. But Lotor is making preparations on the imperial flagship, and I have a few quintants before I’ll be needed for any more fittings. And this is important. _Pidge_ is important, and if something is truly bothering her, it should be dealt with before it gets any worse.”

Yeah, he definitely couldn’t argue with that. Princess tone or no.

“I’ll talk to her,” she said with a nod. “One lady to another. And in the meantime, I think you _men_ should leave it to me.”

She straightened her dress and pushed her hair back from her face, turning and heading for the door with an air of _determination_ about her. Maybe she really could handle this. Maybe all Lance had to do was have a little faith in her. He’d never had trouble with that before.

That is until Keith turned and caught his eye and said, “Pidge is gonna kill you.”

Yeah, he figured. That was definitely possible.


	2. Chapter 2

The archives were one of the quieter parts of the Castle, and also one of Pidge’s favorites. Not just because of the calming pulse of the engines under her feet – though that made for some awesome white noise that could put beaches and thunderstorms to shame – or because of the soothing blue glow of Altean data readouts stretching up over her head like a giant skylight.

She liked it because it was out of the way, tucked over the ship’s secondary engine hub in a corner that people rarely passed by. So if she needed to concentrate, or hell, just recharge her social batteries without worrying about anyone dropping in, it was the perfect little hideaway.

That, and the Altean music files stored in the data center were _really_ interesting. Downright catchy.

But despite its awesome track record, it wasn’t doing much for her concentration now. Not when she couldn’t stop thinking about how she’d snapped at Lance. When he’d come to her for _support._ And now she had guilt gnawing away at her stomach like that weird Tezdarian fruit had.

The door slid open, and out of habit she slammed her laptop shut. Even though it was just-

“Princess Allura?”

Allura smiled, letting the door close behind her before she walked over to meet her, sitting at the console and folding her hands over the data pad. “Thought I might find you here.”

“Hey…” It felt a little weird, sitting cross-legged on the floor with the princess seated next to her. She always sat with her back perfectly straight and her shoulders in a neat line, her head high, never slouching. She sat like…well, like a _princess._

She had a way of looking regal no matter what she was doing. Even fighting, or sitting, or eating.

No wonder Lance had such a thing for her.

“What-“ Pidge cleared her throat, putting her laptop aside. “Were you looking for me or something? Is the Castle defense system acting up again?”

“Yes – well, no, the Castle is doing just fine. But I was looking for you.” She smiled at her, warmly. “I…I wanted to talk to you, actually. If you wanted.”

“If I…wanted?”

“I was hoping to check and make sure you’re doing alright.”

Pidge blinked at her. It was too strange, sitting on the floor, so she pushed herself up and sat down in the opposite console seat. Not that she was anywhere close to Allura’s height. She’d probably never be. But it was an improvement. “I’m fine,” she said, but something cinched in her chest and kept it from sounding convincing.

And Allura could tell – she had that…sympathetic look in her eye. “I’m sure you must miss Earth,” she said, softly. “Your parents…your mother. I know with the wedding on the horizon I’ve wanted nothing more than to talk to my mother about it.” A sad little smile tugged at her lips. “There’s something special about the connection between a girl and her mother, you know?”

Pidge rapped her knuckles against the console, staring down at them. “Yeah. I guess.” She sighed. “But I’ll get to see them soon. I’m just happy knowing they’re safe.”

“Still-“ Allura looked unsure, just for a moment or so, chewing on her lip as she tried to choose her words. “If you ever need someone to…to talk to – I know I can’t hope to be a suitable stand-in for your own mother, but I’d be happy to-“

“Are you…” Pidge stared at her, her mouth hanging open mid-sentence. “Are you trying to…to _girl-talk_ me?”

“Girl-talk?”

“You know, hair and hormones and boys – okay, so that’s a little heteronormative, but still! You know what I mean!” She hoped the blue light from the console would dilute the pink that she _knew_ was creeping onto her cheeks. God, the last thing she wanted to do was have to hash out the details of her stupid emotions with a _princess_ who was about to get _royally married._ It was like something out of a straight-to-TV Disney movie. “Not that I don’t appreciate it, but…but _why?_ ”

Allura twiddled her thumbs in her lap, her dress swishing around her ankles as she tapped her foot. “Well, we ought to stick together, don’t you think? Us girls?”

“I…I guess?”

A grin stretched across Allura’s face, her eyes gleaming. “Wonderful! So… _is_ there anything you want to talk about? Maybe anyone _special_ you’ve had your eye on?”

Pidge was glad she’d put her laptop down, because if she hadn’t, she had a feeling she would have dropped it right there. She still managed to choke on nothing but her breath. “S-special? No! No, not…nobody _special._ I don’t even know what you’re talking about.” The laugh that bubbled up halfway through that sentence made her sound downright hysterical. “I’m just focusing on…on other stuff. You know. Coalition stuff. Not – not that.”

No blue glow could hide how _hot_ her face was. She knew it. She _hated_ it.

“Oh,” Allura said. “Oh my…” And then under her breath she muttered something that Pidge couldn’t quite make out about – being _crushed?_

“What?”

“Nothing!” she insisted, smiling brightly. Too brightly. It was unsettling. “Just thinking about some Earth sayings Hunk was telling me about earlier. And the wedding. I feel pulled in a thousand different directions – you understand.”

Not really. Well, not about weddings or romance, anyway. That was something Pidge didn’t think she would _ever_ really understand. But she still managed a small smile of her own and said, “Yeah…so you’re…excited, right?”

Allura’s expression shifted, turning warmer, softer, her shoulders relaxing against the back of the console chair. “Yes,” she breathed. “It doesn’t quite feel real. After all, it’s a political move as much as anything else. But I…I’m so happy. I never thought I’d be lucky enough to meet someone who understands me so completely.”

Pidge swallowed thickly and stared at the console and the Altean symbols slowly shifting and scrolling across it. “Must be pretty nice,” she murmured, and Allura leaned in closer, her hair falling into her eyes in a way that seemed…oddly un-princess-like.

“I think everyone deserves that.”

“Sure, maybe everyone _deserves_ it. Doesn’t mean everyone gets it.” Something tightened in her throat, and she _hated_ the feeling so much that she almost got up and ran away right there just to stop Allura from noticing. Because if she noticed she would say something about it and if she _said_ something about it, it was bound to get worse.

And that wasn’t Allura’s fault. Just like it hadn’t been Lance’s fault.

“A-anyway-“ She fought through the feeling and forced out a few more words. She was getting better at that. “Hunk and I have been working on putting together the music for the reception. Er, gala? We might have slipped in some Earth music along with everything else, but you’ll like it I promise-“

“Pidge…”

“And there also some from Olkarion too. They have this waltz – or it sounds like a waltz. I don’t know if the Olkari really _waltz,_ but it’s really beautiful and I thought-“

“ _Pidge._ ” Allura’s hand found its way to her arm, resting there with just enough pressure to draw her eye. “You know I meant what I said…if something is bothering you-“

“Nothing’s bothering me.”

“You can _tell me._ ”

She pulled her arm into her lap, watching Allura do the same a moment later with a frown. Pidge pulled in a deep breath and let it out on a sigh. “I…I know,” she finally said, and Allura’s eyes darted up toward her again. “But I don’t…I don’t want to. Talk about it. I just want to focus on this wedding and rebuilding the Coalition and making things safe for my family again.”

It was a better use of her time. Something might actually come of it. Unlike anything else she might feel the urge to linger on.

“But…thanks.” She forced a smile as she reached for her laptop and headphones. “Really. Thanks, Allura.”

“O-of course.” Allura’s eyes glinted in the blue light as she stood. “Anytime.”

* * *

 

Allura managed to contain a heavy sigh until she made it to the command deck, and she leaned against the control hub and let it out, slouching over the display. “Shiro,” she groaned, and he hummed in acknowledgment. “I think you all were right.”

That got his attention, and he glanced away from the starmap to look over at her. “About what?”

“About Pidge.” She watched as his eyebrows arched up to his bangs. “I think she really has been…crushed.”

Shiro’s expression went from confusion to a wide smile, and he choked back a laugh without replying.

“What? Is that not the right term?”

“It’s close enough.”

* * *

 

From the second Pidge stepped into the kitchen, she was hit with the scent of peanut butter. No, not just peanut butter…peanut butter and vanilla and a dash of almond extract that could only mean one thing. Hunk’s peanut butter cookies.

“I thought we were out of peanut butter,” she mused, her mouth watering. And just as she did, Hunk spun around with a flourish and set a pan – fresh from the oven – onto the counter.

She wanted to reach out and grab one right then and there. Second degree burns on her tongue would have been worth it.

Hunk seemed practically psychic, he was so quick to shoo her away. “Nah,” he said as he did it. “I managed to keep one jar out of the clutches of Keith’s late night snacking.”

She snorted. “ _Keith’s_ the one who’s been stealing the peanut butter?”

“Oh – don’t tell him I told you that okay?”

“Cross my heart.” She sat herself down at the counter, staring longingly at those cookies as steam rose up off the pan. She licked her lips.

“Here-“ Hunk finally took pity on her, pushing a second pan closer. “I took these out first. Should be cool enough to-“

That was all she needed to know before she nabbed two and practically inhaled them. “Hunk,” she sighed. “When are you gonna just retire from being the leg of Voltron and open a bakery?”

“Last time I checked Voltron still needs its leg.”

“Not as much as I-“ She brandished another cookie. “-need more of these.”

“Yeah, well go ahead and have as many as you want. I made them for-“ He stopped himself the second she looked up at him, his face getting a bit more color as he made himself look busy stacking the dirty pans in the sink. “Uh…I mean…I know they’re your favorite and all.”

She almost stopped eating mid-chew. Almost. They were too damn good for that. So she swallowed and leaned across the counter towards him. “Hunk,” she said slowly. Probing. “What are you talking about?”

“N-nothing!”

“You know you’re like…the worst person ever at keeping secrets right?”

Finally, he let out a long sigh, his forehead dropping against the side of the refrigerator with a dull metallic thump. “I know…”

“So what the heck is going on? First Allura comes to find me and tries to start this…this _girl-talk_ thing, and now you’re baking me cookies?”

“I thought you liked the cookies!”

“I _do!_ But that’s not-“ She groaned, listlessly reaching out for another and nibbling at it. Waste not, want not, she guessed. “Everyone’s acting…weird. Nice. But weird. You, Allura – and Keith has been straight-up avoiding me all day-“

That seemed to get Hunk’s attention, and his brows arched. “Keith’s been avoiding you?”

“Well that’s sure what it feels like! I don’t know, it’s just this…this weird vibe that I’m getting. From you. From everybody.” She carefully put the uneaten half of her cookie down on the counter, studying Hunk closely, focusing on his face through narrowed eyes. Maybe if she concentrated she could spot something – some kind of clue that would explain what was going on.

Or she could just get him to tell her. He wasn’t that great at keeping secrets. In fact, it looked like he was already starting to fidget. “Hunk-“

“It’s nothing!” he insisted again. Like she would believe him this time. “You just…seemed kinda down lately, so I figured I’d bake your favorite cookies, you know?”

“I seem…down?”

Her stomach clenched uncomfortably. Was she really that transparent? Sure, she’d snapped at Lance that one time, but…

Hunk sat down beside her with that pinch in his brow that always made him look so concerned. Maybe he got it from Shiro. They were both so damn _good_ at it. “I mean…am I wrong?” he asked her. “Is everything perfectly okay? I mean besides all the stress of rebuilding an intergalactic alliance and planning a royal wedding.”

Dammit. As bad as Hunk was at lying, she was _twice_ as bad at lying to him. “Allura asked me the same thing,” she finally told him, her stomach doing anxious little flips no matter how hard she tried to keep it in check. “She looked so…so worried. And sure, maybe I’ve been a little…distracted. You know, with the wedding stuff and all that.”

Nothing else, she insisted to herself. Certainly _nothing_ else was distracting her.

“B-but you guys don’t need to worry about me. And you definitely don’t need to go trying to have some big heart-to-heart with me like this is some kind of intervention-“

“It’s not an intervention!” Hunk said, sounding almost indignant. “And it…it doesn’t need to be a heart-to-heart if you don’t need it, okay?”

He bit his lip, tapping his fingers on the counter. Damn, maybe _he_ was the more transparent one. Pidge sighed and relented, “What else do you want to say?”

His eyes darted over toward her again, and he looked hesitant, dragging his fingers over the counter like he was trying to scratch a divot into it. It took her a second or two to realize that she’d been doing the same thing. But unlike her, Hunk folded his hands in his lap and finally took a deep breath.

Oh God…this really was turning into a heart-to-heart. Pidge swallowed.

“Okay,” Hunk said softly. “I know I said I wasn’t gonna make this a thing, but…look, I have to. Just – just really quick, I promise! And then I’ll drop it.”

She eyed him, bracing herself. “Okayyyy?”

“You…you remember that thing your dad said a while back? When we were talking about modulating the gendocam-“

She managed a grin despite the knot tightening obnoxiously in her chest. “You mean the argument I clearly won?”

“It wasn’t an argument, it was a discussion! But that’s not the point – you remember what your dad said?” The tips of his index fingers tapped against each other as he tried to look anywhere but at her. She swore the tips of his ears were turning pink under his hair. “About…you know…how he and your mom met?”

Pidge stared at him. “…yeah?”

“I was just…you know…I was thinking about it…”

“Dude, are you proposing to me or something?”

Hunk’s face was at least three different shades of red. “ _What?_ No!”

“Then why are you bringing up my dad’s dumb jokes?”

His elbows hit the counter hard enough to rattle the platter of cookies next to him, and folded his hands over his head. “Oh man…that came out all wrong…I’m not – Pidge, I’m not trying to _suggest_ anything okay? Not that you wouldn’t make a kickass wife, but-“

Shit, now _her_ cheeks felt red. “ _Wife?_ ”

“ _Itoldyouthat’snotwhatIwassuggesting-_ “ Hunk shot up again, hands flailing so violently that she was surprised he didn’t send something flying. “You’re awesome! You are! But I don’t – I don’t feel like that!”

She was painfully aware of how wide her mouth was hanging open as she stared at him. Processing. Or trying to. She tried to say something – _anything_ – but when she tried, all that came out was a loud, obnoxious, snorting laugh.

Hunk blinked at her. “Wha…what are you laughing at?”

“ _You,_ ” Pidge wheezed, leaning on the counter and trying to keep herself in her chair. It was getting harder by the second, her arm wrapped around her stomach as she fought to get in a breath. “Hunk…you…I…I can’t…believe…you…!”

After a moment or two, he managed a smile of his own, giggling quietly as he said, “Yeah…yeah this didn’t really go like I planned.”

“I _hope_ you didn’t plan it like that!”

“I didn’t!” He was laughing now too, almost as hard as she was, his forehead almost brushing the counter. “Honestly, I didn’t! You really think I planned to accidentally propose?”

Just when she’d almost managed to breathe again, he went and said _that,_ and she was off for a second time, pressing her hands against her mouth. All it did was muffle the noise. “ _Hunk-_ “

“I mean, really – if I was gonna propose I’d at least light a candle or something-“

“ _Hunk, quit it,_ ” she gasped, dropping her glasses on the counter before they could get stained by the tears gathering in her eyes.

“-definitely cook something fancier than just cookies-“

She jabbed her fist into his arm, and he _finally_ stopped talking long enough for her to catch her breath. “God,” she sighed, resting her chin on her folded arms. “I needed that…”

“The cookies or the laugh?” Hunk chuckled.

“ _Both._ ” She wiped her eyes and perched her glasses back on her nose. And just like that the laughter lapsed into silence. Comfortable silence, at least, but Pidge still felt compelled to spend it eating the last half of her third peanut butter cookie.

When she swallowed, she glanced at him, and it looked like a weight had been lifted off of his shoulders. He seemed…lighter somehow, but she couldn’t place why. Before she could stop herself, she let out a hesitant little, “Um…”

That got his attention, and his gaze refocused on her. “Yeah?”

“Hunk…you don’t…” God, how was she supposed to _ask_ something like this? “You don’t really…have any kind of…feelings, do you?” A beat. A long one. Too long. “For me?” God, she couldn’t look at him. She couldn’t stand the thought of hurting him if he’d been trying to open up and she’d _laughed in his face._ “Non…friend…feelings?”

That panic on his face was back. “No! Nonono, that’s not what this is about at all!”

Oh, thank _Christ._ “Okay,” she breathed. “So…maybe we should just…pretend this whole thing never happened?”

“I would be super okay with that.”

Despite how hard her heart was pounding, she managed another laugh. “But just so you know, you’d make a pretty kick-ass husband.”

Hunk grinned at her. He practically _glowed._ “You think?”

“Who wouldn’t want to marry someone who makes such awesome cookies?”

To prove her point, she took two more before hopping down from her seat. She balled her free hand into a loose fist and held it out toward him, and it only took him a second to press his knuckles against it. “You know what? You’re right. I’m a catch.”

* * *

“Okay, so she _definitely_ doesn’t have a crush on me.”

Keith glanced at him over the lighting control box, eyebrow lazily arched as he held the compartment cover open. “I thought you knew that already.”

Hunk shrugged. “Sure, I knew. But I didn’t… _know_ know.”

“And now you _know_ know?”

“Yeah. Pass me the number two pliers?” Keith did. “I mean, it didn’t really go according to plan. I sure didn’t mean to accidentally propose to her-“

“You _what?_ ”

The compartment cover slammed closed with a deafening metallic crash, and Hunk just barely managed to pull his fingers away in time. “ _Dude-_ “

“You _proposed?_ To _Pidge?_ ”

“I didn’t _propose_ propose!”

“Just like you didn’t _know_ know whether she had a thing for you?”

Hunk groaned. “Keeeiiith…I have to get this wiring fixed before the rehearsal next week, so can you just…” A vague nod a the control box later, Keith sighed and pulled it open again. “Thank you.”

“You know what? I don’t wanna know what happened with you guys.”

“I mean, nothing _happened._ I placated her with cookies, we laughed till we almost peed ourselves.” He shrugged. “It’s all good.”

When he looked back up again, Keith had a deep furrow carving its way between his brows, and he had a good idea why. He couldn’t help thinking about what Lance had said either. And now the silence that dragged on between them was getting way more uncomfortable than he liked. “Soooo…I guess if she _doesn’t_ have a crush on me-“

“ _Don’t_ go there,” Keith said, but he didn’t sound angry. He sounded like he was begging.

Hunk dutifully kept his eyes on the wires. “I mean…is it really that hard to believe that she might…you know…”

Keith groaned. Almost a growl. An _I-don’t-want-to-talk-about-it_ growl. He was good at those.

Another few beats of even _less_ comfortable silence later, Hunk finally blurted, “Have you even thought about it?”

“Thought about what?” Keith huffed.

“I mean, if she _does_ have a…a thing for you-“

“Nnnngh…”

“ _If_ she does…you’re sure you wouldn’t…be interested? At all?”

Keith’s fingers curled against the edges of the metal. “I’m not.”

“Cause she’s a pretty awesome girl-“

“I don’t like girls.”

Hunk kept his eyes glued to the wires, the pliers freezing mid-squeeze. “Oh.”

“Yeah.”

“So you’re-“

“ _Yeah._ ”

“Huh.” He tugged the wire out of its plastic casing and huffed when he noticed a hole in the insulation. So it really was just a simple short… “You know, after you tell everyone you’re part alien, nothing else is really all that shocking.”

Keith managed to glance over at him, and the second he noticed Hunk’s grin, he matched it and let out a snort. “Yeah, I guess.”

Hunk dropped the pliers by his leg and held out his hand. “Insulation strip, please.” It hit his palm a moment later, and he got to work patching up the system. “And I still think maybe you should talk to her.”

Keith sighed. “Yeah…”

* * *

_Intensity level five._

“Increase intensity,” Pidge said, wiping her brow.

_Heart rate elevated. Signs of stress detected. Increase in intensity is not recommended._

She groaned. “Duly noted. Increase intensity to six.”

_Intensity level six. Begin drill in three…two…one…_

She lasted about four seconds, which wasn’t surprising. The level five targeting drones were already hard as hell, and at level six she could barely take out a single one before the rest caught her in the back and sent her face-first into the safety padding. Well, so much for pushing herself…

_Ending drill. Please rehydrate._

She rolled onto her back with a groan and stared at the door to the training hall. Just as she brushed the sweaty hair from her face they slid open, and even with everything upside-down she could recognize Keith as he strode in with his hands in the pockets of his jeans.

“You seriously put that thing on level six?” he asked.

She pushed herself up and crossed her legs, and as she did the head rush made her woozy. Maybe that was why the A.I. had tried to talk her out of pushing herself. But a second later Keith held a water bottle in front of her face. “You train at level _eight,_ ” she said as she took it and downed most of it in one gulp. “Lemme guess, the Marmora training programs were always cranked up to eleven, huh?”

He shrugged. “I mostly just spar with my mom or Kolivan. So…yeah, something like that.”

Then he sat down next to her, and Pidge groaned. “Oh man, not you too.”

“What?”

“The last few days, _everyone_ has been acting weird around me. First Allura, then Hunk – Shiro keeps looking at me like he’s desperate to console me or something.” And Lance…she didn’t even want to think about Lance right now. Thus the level six drill. “I thought you’d at least be aloof enough not to try and pull something.”

“ _Aloof?_ ”

“Hey, I never said it was a bad thing.”

He let out a sigh, letting his head loll back toward the door. “Pidge, look…I didn’t come here to have some deep, sappy talk with you. I just…I need to tell you something, and it’s important.”

She blinked, her water bottle stopping halfway to her lips. “Uh…okay?”

Keith crossed his arms, closed his eyes like he was trying to meditate, and then took a deep breath and said, “I’m gay, Pidge.”

She stared at him, water bottle hanging listlessly in her fingers, watching a flush creep up over his cheeks and the bridge of his nose. She didn’t know how long it was before a splash of water fell from the open lip of the bottle straight into her lap, snapping her out of it long enough to say, “Ah – okay? Thanks for…telling me, I guess?”

Keith opened one eye to glance at her. “You…you get it, right?”

“That you’re into dudes? Yeah. Crystal clear.”

“N-no! I mean, yeah, but…you get what I’m trying to say?”

Well now she was just lost. “Is there…something _else_ you’re trying to say?”

“Pidge-“ He turned his body to face her, face blazing red and brow pinched. “I wanted to tell you because – I wanted you to understand. You know. Why I don’t…feel the same way.”

Scratch lost. Now she was ten miles deep in the Amazon rainforest without a map. “You…what?”

“I’m flattered, but I…I just don’t…I don’t feel the same way about you.”

The water bottle rolled straight onto the floor, spilling all over the safety padding. “ _What?_ ” She scrambled to her feet a second later, her face so hot she could have fried an egg on her nose. “Hold on – back up. Back _all the way_ up. You…you think I – I don’t-“

“Oh God…” Keith’s hands were plastered against his face, but she could only imagine what color it was underneath them. “You don’t have a crush on me, do you?”

“What the _hell_ made you think I have a crush on you?” she squawked, and she was painfully aware of how much it _echoed_ off the empty walls. But she couldn’t help it. Volume control was the last thing on her mind as Keith finally stood up to face her again.

“I _knew_ this was ridiculous,” he muttered, canting his head toward the ceiling like he was praying for any god who was listening to _take him now._ She could relate. “I knew Lance was-“

Her heart slammed against her ribs. “L…Lance?”

“He was worried about you.” Keith’s shoulders slumped. “He figured something was bothering you and he had this…this _crazy_ idea that you had a crush on someone and he insisted it was me. Dammit, I don’t know why the hell I believed him for a second-“

Pidge felt sick. Her legs wobbled, the sweat on the nape of her neck making her shiver. “Lance…thought…I had a crush…on you?”

“I told you it was crazy.”

She swallowed, like her mouth wasn’t as dry as the Sahara during a drought. “After…after all this time…he _finally_ figures it out, and he thinks I have a crush on _you?_ ”

She wasn’t quite sure when she’d gone from speaking to yelling, but judging from the look on Keith’s face, the transition had probably been pretty jarring. But she didn’t care. She couldn’t get another word out if she tried. Her throat was on _fire._

And suddenly she realized Keith wasn’t look at her anymore.

He was looking past her, over her shoulder at something behind her, and before she knew what she was doing, she turned toward the door. Her eyes widening as they focused on-

Lance.

Staring at her.

Mouth hanging open.

She was moving again without even thinking about it, shoving away Keith’s hand when he reached for her and stumbling toward the door. Her shoulder rammed against Lance’s chest, pushing him out of the way. She didn’t look at him. She couldn’t. It was wrong. This was _all wrong._

“Pidge-“ She barely registered his voice, getting lost in the growing distance between them. It only made her tears flow faster.

“ _Don’t,_ ” was all she said, and it echoed down the hall as she choked down a sob.

She kept moving until she made it to the hangar, and she climbed into the green lion’s cockpit with one hand plastered over her mouth. The moment the doors closed and locked behind her she curled up in front of the control panel and drew a shaking breath.

“I fucked up, girl,” she breathed. “I really, _really_ fucked up…”

The control panel dimmed to nothing but a soft blue glow as she finally leaned against the armrest and let out a heavy, wracking sob.  

* * *

“Oh my god…” Lance stared straight ahead, palms pressed together in front of his mouth, completely silent as Hunk paced back and forth in front of him. “Oh my _god._ And she just _left?_ ”

“At least we know who she’s crushing on now,” Keith sighed. “Hey, Lance – Earth to Lance. Are you getting this? You copy?”

He waved a hand in front of Lance’s face, which Lance promptly smacked away. “ _Yes,_ I copy,” he huffed. “I was there.”

“Yeah, that’s the problem.”

From the look on Pidge’s face, Lance was pretty sure Keith was painfully right. Dammit, this was all wrong. He didn’t think he’d ever even _been_ this wrong. How could he get so close and then miss something the mark so  _badly?_

He still didn’t quite believe it. “But it…it can’t be me,” he murmured, barely even registering that anyone else was there at all. “It just _can’t_ be.”

“Are you blind? Of course it’s you! You saw the way she looked at you, the way she _talked_ about you when I mentioned that crazy idea of yours-“

“And for a second I really thought she was crushing on me,” Hunk muttered.

“Poor thing…” Allura breathed, her hands folded solemnly in her lap. She stared down at them, one thumb rubbing anxiously against her knuckle. “I can’t help but think all of us trying to pry may have just made things worse…”

Lance winced. “It’s not your fault,” he finally said, and all eyes turned toward him. For a moment he met Allura’s, and he swallowed as he held her gaze. “It’s not…it’s not any of you guys’ fault. I’m the one who feels like an ass right now…”

He let his head hang and his shoulders slump. Tried to see if the couch would envelope him if he concentrated hard enough. But instead he felt someone sit next to him, a hand on his shoulder, and he looked up and met Allura’s eyes again, much closer this time. “You tried to do something good,” she told him, smiling. “And even if it went wrong, that in and of itself shows just the reason why Pidge feels the way about that she does.”

“She’s right,” Keith relented. “She’s gotta see something in you, you know? And as ridiculous as all this was…it was pretty thoughtful, deep down. _Way_ deep down.”

Lance managed a smirk and a laugh despite the tightness in his chest. “Thanks, Keith.” He turned to Allura again, biting down on his lip. “You too, Princess…”

“Hey-“ Hunk piped up. “Anyone know where Shiro got off to? He usually has good stuff to say at times like these.”

It was the first time Lance realized that Shiro had seemingly disappeared, and Allura’s expression melted into a knowing little smile. “I think I have an idea of where he might be,” she said. “You’re right – he’s good at these kinds of things.”

* * *

“Mind if I join you?”

Pidge just sighed, her arms wrapped around her knees as she kept her gaze fixed on the stars visible just outside of the hangar windows. The view from on top of the green lion had always been surprisingly good – letting her sit just high enough to stare out at the stars and pretend she was back on Earth under a wide open sky.

She’d told Shiro that once. It figured he’d remember. “I guess,” she said with a shrug.

As he sat down next to her, he held out a box of tissues. She stared at him before he nudged them a little closer. “C’mon, I got the good ones with lotion. It’s better than the back of your sleeve.”

She sighed and took one, blowing her nose without complaint. She watched him lean back and follow her line of sight, staring out at the stars with a sigh.

“So,” he said, “This is gonna be a feelsy heart-to-heart talk. Sorry in advance.”

“Sure I can’t push you off the lion instead?” she muttered.

“I’d appreciate it if you didn’t.”

“Alright…go ahead then.”

He chuckled. “Thanks.” And for a moment, he just went silent. She wondered if he’d been lying about the talk thing as he let the quiet drag on and on, just staring out the window. But then he said, “You know…first person I ever had real feelings for was back during my Garrison days. I was…sixteen, I think. Craig Masters…man, I liked him so much it _hurt._ ”

She glanced at him. “You crushed on a guy named _Craig?_ ”

“ _Yes,_ and I had it bad. For almost two years.” He let out a sigh, eyes fixed on those stars. “Tried to tell him plenty of times, but I always lost my nerve. So I just…suffered. The whole time. Wondering if he felt the same way, agonizing over it, sometimes thinking he might and other times convincing myself that there was just no way.”

Pidge leaned her chin against her arms, the knot in her chest clenching painfully. “You just…kept it a secret? All that time?”

“Yep.”

“And he never…he never made you think maybe he felt the same way?”

“I was never really sure. I was just waiting for some sign, but sometimes people are more complicated than that.”

She swallowed, balling up the tissue in her hands until it started to shred against her palm. “And when you did tell him…what did he…what did he say?”

Shiro shrugged, an enigmatic smile spreading over his face. “I finally got up the nerve right before he transferred to the European branch. And turns out he never felt the same way.”

Pidge’s heart sank into her stomach. “O-oh…”

“But you know what? After he turned me down, I felt better than I had in _years._ ” She looked back over at him, hesitantly. “All that wondering and agonizing was so much worse than knowing for sure, even if the answer wasn’t what I wanted. And it was for the best, all things considered – he was moving to another country and all. But even if he wasn’t…I still wished I’d gotten turned down sooner.”

She stared up at the window, letting the silence drag on and on. “That’s really on the nose, you know that?”

“Yeah, I know.” He pressed his hand against her back, rubbing gently. “I know how much this sucks, Katie.”

She bit the inside of her cheek to try to stop a fresh round of tears from coming. It didn’t help much. Shiro handed her another tissue, and she took it without a word.

“Lance isn’t moving to Europe,” she finally managed to choke out. It felt like a ridiculous, clumsy thing to say, but it was all she could do. “But I don’t…I don’t want to…lose him…”

She couldn’t lose him. She couldn’t. She didn’t need him to be her _boyfriend,_ but she couldn’t imagine not having him as a _friend._

“You’re not gonna lose anyone,” Shiro insisted, and for a moment surprise flitted over his face before his expression melted into a warm smile. “But you don’t need me to convince you of that.”

She squinted in confusion, but instead of saying anything else he just nodded down under their feet, and she followed his line of sight downward until she saw him.

Lance waved up at her, shyly. Looking hopeful.

Her fingers curled against her knees. “I don’t know if I can,” she said, her voice shaking.

“You’re a paladin of Voltron,” Shiro told her. “You can handle anything.”

Her hands were shaking so badly that she didn’t think she could manage the climb down from the lion’s back, but even so, plummeting to her death seemed like a better alternative to sitting and waiting for Lance to climb up. It was _torture,_ stretching on and on until she wondered if she could just jump off and take her chances.

He huffed as he pulled himself up and brushed himself off. “Man, you really know how to find a good hiding place,” he said with a weak little smile and a waver in his voice.

She didn’t say a word. She couldn’t. She could barely even look at him.

She heard him sigh. “Okay…” he muttered, and it sounded like it was to himself more than anyone else. His footsteps got closer, closer, until he sat down right where Shiro had been sitting a few minutes before. “Okay, so…I’ve been…kind of an idiot lately.”

“You’re not an idiot, Lance,” she forced out.

“I thought you had a crush on _Keith._ ”

Despite her racing heart, despite the knot in her stomach, that made her laugh. “Alright, maybe you’re a _little_ bit of an idiot.”

He managed a little chuckle of his own, but when that faded out, the silence was back, and it hung between them like a choking fog. He took a deep, steadying breath. “So…you…” He cleared his throat. “You have…feelings…for me, huh?”

She pulled her knees closer, barely breathing. “Mmhm.”

“How uh…how long…have you…”

She shrugged. “I dunno…” That was a lie. She knew exactly when she’d felt the first spark of something in the pit of her stomach – the weird little swelling feeling in her chest that happened every time he walked into a room. The moment she’d watched him dive into the fountain at the space mall to grab that damn coin, she’d been a _goner._

Instead of that, though, she said, “A few…months, maybe.”

“ _Months?_ ” he squawked. “And you…you never said anything-“

“Well, you were pretty distracted.” The words came out with more bitterness attached to them than she’d meant, and Lance grimaced. “It’s…it’s okay, Lance…I know I never had a chance against Allura…”

Lance’s eyes went wide at that. He looked almost _hurt._ “Pidge…Allura’s not…”

“I get it, okay?” she insisted. “Allura’s everything anyone could ever want – she’s smart and confident and beautiful-“

“Yeah, well so are you!”

Her heart lurched, any other words dying right there in her throat. And Lance shrunk back, like he’d blurted it out without really meaning to. He curled his fingers against his legs, digging his fingernails into his jeans.

“Pidge…K-Katie…” Her stomach flipped. “Listen, you’re amazing, okay? You’re one of the strongest people I know, not to mention the smartest. And I’ve never seen someone demolish a game of _Galaga_ like you.”

She sat there, an ache in the back of her throat as she waited for the _but._ There had to be a _but._ It was what she’d been so afraid of this whole time. Getting let down _gently,_ like that made it any better.

But instead, Lance’s hand laced together with hers, and she stared down at it.

“You know,” he said, “I knew way before I ever told her that Allura and I were never gonna happen. And honestly…when she finally told me she didn’t feel the same way…I was _relieved._ ”

She looked up from their hands and settled her gaze on his face instead. He was smiling. “You were…relieved?”

“She wasn’t right for me, you know?” he said. “I knew that for a long time, but…I just needed to hear it straight for her. And after that, it felt like…like I was free. It felt like I could finally move on. _Really_ move on.”

He looked up at her, and her heart felt like it was going to smash its way right out of her chest. “What are you even saying, anyway?”

Lance let out a nervous little laugh as he reached for her other hand and pulled it over to rest next to the first. Both of them resting in his. “Aw, c’mon…you’re really gonna make me say it?”

He didn’t…

He couldn’t…

“Is…is this some kind of rebound thing?” she blurted out before she could help it.

“N-no! God, no! Katie, that’s not it at all – you’re not a _rebound._ I’ve wanted to kiss you since Tezdar!”

She stared at him, her face burning, her palms sweating against his, her stomach doing such violent flips she worried she’d never be able to eat another one of Hunk’s peanut butter cookies again. “Y-you…you what?” she forced out, her voice so tiny she could barely hear herself.

Lance sighed, pink spreading over the bridge of his nose. “On Tezdar…before that _awful_ dinner…you wore that dress, and the head priestess put those flowers in your hair and it made your glasses all crooked, and you kept messing with them with this look on your face like it was the most annoying thing in the world…” A smile spread over his face as he talked, but it was a smile different from the ones she was used to seeing. It was almost crooked, making his face look lopsided and…and _adorable._ “I saw you, and I…I wanted to kiss you…and that scared the living shit out of me…”

She bit her lip, barely daring to ask, “And what about now?”

“I’m still pretty damn scared.”

“ _No,_ I mean…do you…still…want to…kiss me…?”

He swallowed – she watched it bob in his throat. “Kinda, yeah.”

She couldn’t think of a single thing to say to that. After so long turning this over in her head, she’d never thought she’d actually ever get this far. But Lance’s hands squeezed hers and he pulled her gaze back up towards his eyes, and he was leaning in and-

She forced her eyes closed. Because the sight of it made her heart pound so hard she thought she might pass out. Because that was what people _did_ when someone was about to kiss them _._ Because she wasn’t really sure it was real at all and maybe the darkness would help her hold on to the fantasy just a little bit longer-

And then he felt him breathe out against her lips, and she got a good whiff of his hair gel and moisturizer, and then-

Then he was kissing her. Right there on the green lion’s back under the stars.

* * *

“For the last time,” Pidge said, “We’re not playing _Bohemian Rhapsody_ at the wedding reception.”

Lance pouted. “Why?”

She barely even looked up from her laptop. “Because it’s like six minutes long! And we’ve already got a full playlist of Altean waltzes, Olkari lovesongs, Balmeran throat-singing and a few melodic Galra poems-“

“ _Poems?_ ”

She shrugged. “Galra don’t really…sing, apparently. But the poems are actually pretty touching. From what I could translate, anyway.”

Lance huffed, forgoing the very conveniently place chair and sitting himself down right on the table next to her laptop. She scooted it over just enough to make room without looking away from the playlist. “So you’ll play twenty solid minutes of that Balmeran…humming…stuff-“

“ _Throat-singing._ ”

“-but you won’t spare six minutes for Freddie Mercury?”

“It’s too _long!_ ”

“The radio stations said the same thing when they refused to play it for the masses, and look how dumb it made them look!”

He smiled triumphantly. Like he’d won. Pidge sighed. “Okay, you can have _one song._ ”

His eyes lit up. “Really?”

“ _One_ Queen song,” she emphasized. “One that’s _not_ six minutes long. So no _Bohemian Rhapsody_ or _Radio Gaga_ or-“

“ _I Want to Break Free,_ ” Lance said without hesitation.

She blinked. “Seriously?”

“Yep.”

“Not… _Crazy Little Thing Called Love_ or _Heaven For Everyone_ or…I dunno, _Fat-Bottom Girls?_ ”

“ _I Want to Break Free,_ ” he said again, nodding and grinning from his perch on the table, and Pidge couldn’t help but laugh as she added it to the list.

“Alright, you got it.”

He pumped his fist in the air with so much enthusiasm that he shook the table. “ _Yes!_ ”

“If you promise to dance with me when it comes on,” she added, and she could see her own cheeks flushing in her reflection on the computer screen.

Lance finally hopped down from the table and slung an arm around her shoulders. “Aw, c’mon – I’ll dance with you to that weirdo Galra love poetry if you want.”

She reached up to adjust her glasses with a small, shy smile. “Right – okay, now let me get back to finalizing the rest of this playlist.”

“Alright, alright,” he laughed, and his hand lingered on her arm for just one extra moment as he pulled away.

It was only when he’d already let the doors close behind him that Pidge clicked on the song he’d picked and pressed play.

She had to admit Lance had pretty good taste.


End file.
